(Source:  Adapted from Duluth Wheel of Equality )

Respect

Listening to partner non-judgmentally
Being emotionally affirming and understanding,
Value her or his opinions


Equal responsibility

Mutually agree on a fair distribution of housework
Making family decisions together
 

Negotiation and fairness with equal power

Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
Accepting change
Being willing to compromise


Empathy and compassion  

Recognising the impact of ones threatening behaviour induces fear in the other person   
Use Non-threatening behaviours
Recognise emotional abuse causes stress and emotional trauma in the victim


Honesty and accountability

Accepting responsibility for one’s behaviour and abusive actions
Acknowledging past use of emotional abuse , violence  
Admitting being wrong
Communicating openly and truthfully


Allowing social freedom to partner

To make friends
To speak to the opposite sex
To maintain contact with her family, social support network


Economic partnership

Making money decisions together
Own salary goes into one’s own account
Joint account password with both partners  
No money is transferred out without checking with the other person
Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements


Responsible parenting

Sharing parental responsibilities
Not manipulating children against the other parent
Being a positive non-violent role model for the children
All carers in the extended family enrol for positive parenting classes early


No  threats

Talking and acting so that she feels safe and comfortable while expressing herself and doing things
Listening
Valuing opinion
No threats of visa cancelation or deportation
Not using children as threats    


Summary

To have a healthy relationship real mutual respect is the key. You accept, admire and respect each other for who you are. All disagreements are handled with respect and discussion, no party dominates all decision making. Please speak to your GP if you wish to have counselling to improve the health of your relationship.

Here are other numbers to call for information and assistance

  • 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counseling Line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

  • 131 114 Lifeline has a national number who can help put you in contact with a crisis service in your State (24 hours)

  • Police or Ambulance
    000 in an emergency for police or ambulance.

  • Men’s Referral Service for Australia- 1300 766 491